Why Do Women Stay With Abusive Men?

Physical abuse is something that I know about and have seen. As a little girl, I watched my dad beat and hit my mom for years. Sometimes I watched as he hit her until she couldn't move and there was nothing I could have done except to cry. One time I remember my mom said that my sister and I were holding my dad's feet so that he wouldn't be able to move in order to hit her....lol.... I can't even remember that, I was so little. And my mom stood by him all those years of abuse, and I asked her one day WHY ?, and she said, "it was because of you guys." At that time my mom had 11 children, the 3 older ones were not living with us at the time. My sister and I were the youngest ones and she didn't leave my dad because she wouldn't have been able to support us on her own. My dad had a huge business and money and she couldn't leave due to financial reasons, so she stuck it out for years.

Many women do the very same thing when children are involved, they stay with their abusive husband and/or boyfriend because of financial reasons. Other women stay because they lack self esteem and that's a huge thing.

My sister who is back home in the Caribbean is currently with this guy who she has been seeing for years. Now he has cheated on her a few times with his "baby mama," and he has hit my sister a few times but for the life of me, I'm trying to understand why she wouldn't leave his "rusty backside." The only conclusion I can come up with is that she doesn't want to be alone. Some women are so afraid of being without a man and being alone that they stand for anything, right down to the man who cheats and in this case, hit them.

After watching my mother go through what she did, I promised myself that I would never let a man hit me. In fact, I should be the one hitting, taking back my power....lol. I have fought a few times in primary school and high school and 92% of the time, they were boys because they want to feel like they can come and bully people and one day they decided to bully the wrong girl and I beat their asses. What I'm trying to say is, men who beat women are bullies and pathetic and you must not allow them to take your power away from you because that's what they are doing when they hit you and you do absolutely nothing about it.

Some women stay in the hope that the man would change and that is not impossible. My dad changed, although him and my mom are now divorced, he's never hit another woman in his life again and that is something that I am proud of him for and that I respect him for. Now I'm not saying that you should all stay and wait for the man to change, sometimes you have to leave in order for him to change. Sometimes you have to call out for help so that he can get psychological treatment because sometimes that's what some men need, because we have no idea what their past was like or what they went through to become this way, but fact is some, very few men, do change.

To you women who are trying to leave at the end of the night, trying to pack bags while he is sleeping and looking all suspicious, CUT IT TO HELL OUT NOW. Don't try to leave while he is home and pretend like everything is alright, don't go around looking nervous and fearful all the time, he will sense that. Take the time to observe and monitor and see his moments and when he's out LEAVE, and please don't try to take your entire wardrobe with you, don't. It's best to have little or no clothes at all and still have a life while you can.

No man has ever hit me, but I know what it's like and although I haven't directly experienced it, I may not know exactly how you women feel, but the fact of the matter is, saying to yourself, "No one understands," or "I have to stay for the sake of my children," won't make you feel better. Don't you know if you're not happy, neither are your kids?. NO you don't have to stay and pitying yourself won't get you out. It's strength and courage and opening up to the ones like your friends who are there for you, is going to help you get out and through your abusive relationship. Sometimes you have to remember that you can't do it all on your own. And for your own sake, be positive, and let fear leave your life. It's bad enough that you have a man hitting you but to add constant fear to that, wow, it would only break you down even more. Don't stay in an abusive relationship because of your children but instead, leave the abusive relationship because of your children, it would work wonders and you would see the change in your life and your children lives as time goes by. God Bless you.